It’s that favourite time of the year, when it’s cold and snowy outside and people feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. People gather around in candlelit, homey rooms for turkey and wine and headaches the next day. For many, this is the pinnacle of the year. A time for family, festivities and fine food: all that’s nostalgic and pleasant in the world with coloured lights and eggnog stirred in. And so, in a deferential salute to all that the month of December stands for, I want all of my dear readers to do something for me.
This Christmas season, I want you to go offend somebody.
No, I mean it. I want you to find a stranger at a bus stop, a checkout counter, the drive through, anywhere, approach them, look them in the eye and with the most charming smile you can muster, tell them:
“Merry Christmas!”
Because this is an offensive term. You know that. In their wisdom, policy makers have decided that to greet inoffensively during this month, we should all say “Happy Holidays, Comrade”. Okay, they don’t say Comrade. But on greeting cards, street signs, the radio and people’s lips you can hear and see the result of somebody’s reasoning: December 25th is not really a Christian holiday anymore (True). Not everyone celebrated it to begin with, and they might be offended to be confronted with the vestiges of a strange religion or custom (Maybe). So we should replace 2,000 years of our heritage with generic, please-all names and customs (?).
I’ve made a point of saying “Merry Christmas” to everyone I’ve met in the past week. I know it’s not a particularly beneficial relationship to have people associate the birth of Christ with an overweight elf with a thing for red. The holiday has gone very far from its roots of the last 1800 years (yes, originally a pagan Roman holiday). But cutting down a young evergreen tree, dragging it inside, covering it with lights and ornaments and then calling it a “holiday tree” is an insult to everyone’s intelligence. By all means, be happy, everyone! Be also honest to our heritage and the greatest Gift of all time. You can believe what you want, celebrate what you want and they can legislate whatsoever they darn well please, but this Christmas, I want you to take to the streets with the words of Tiny Tim from Charles Dickens:
“Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! God bless us, every one!”
(I hope I didn’t offend anyone here with a harsh tone or hasty judgments. If I did, though, well, tough. Enjoy your Christmas, Comrade.)
